The other day my friend Stephanie and I went to get pedicures. It had been before I had Nora that I had gone and I was in desperate need; not just for a pedicure, but to get out of the house. I’ve been trying to get out more often, and have actually done something every day this week. I think it is good for both me and Nora to get out; get some fresh air and get more comfortable being out in public (still cross my fingers that she does ok–and she’s done great this week).
Man, did it feel good to soak my feet, use the massage chair, talk to a friend and hold my sweet girl. Some day Miss Nora will be sitting next to me soaking her little toes too. Both our little ones sat great through the pedicure, so that means (yay!) more pedicures in our future!
I’m trying to workon this ‘take care of myself first’ thing; what my friend referred to as the ‘airplane rule’: help yourself before you help others. I can’t be at my best to take care of Nora if I don’t feel my best and aren’t taking care of myself. I’m learning to not see it as being selfish; how can I love and take care of Nora if I’m not doing the same for myself. Mothers and women in general, in my opinion, put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be perfect: to be the perfect mother, wife, friend; have the perfect body; have perfect children which is a reflection of our perfect parenting. There is NO perfect and we are setting ourselves up for failure if we expect it.
I know I have felt the pressure to do things perfectly; not just in motherhood but in many aspects of my life. I was always expected to get good grades (I wouldn’t say I was pressured to get good grades, it was just expected of me); not only from my mother but myself. I liked getting good grades and feeling smart. If I played a sport I wanted to excel at it, and if I didn’t I usually didn’t play it (ie. golf). I was always a good employee, doing my best to prove I was worth keeping around (and hopefully a raise). I try to be a good wife; cooking for my husband, keeping the house clean, keeping the romance, etc. And now as a mother I see myself trying to do things effortlessly and have ‘the perfect baby’. Striving for perfection is stressful and impossible. So why do I continue to pressure myself with it?? Who knows. I’m a work in progress. I’m learning things everyday; not only as a mother but just as myself and being happy with that.