I’ll admit, Nora’s ‘costume’ was a little last minute. I figured we weren’t going to do anything so I didn’t bother getting her a costume. BUT then I thought that it’ll be her first, so I better do something. Presenting, the cutest little sock monkey you ever did see! A friend of ours made this sweet beanie for my baby shower and what better way to show it off!
The other day my friend Stephanie and I went to get pedicures. It had been before I had Nora that I had gone and I was in desperate need; not just for a pedicure, but to get out of the house. I’ve been trying to get out more often, and have actually done something every day this week. I think it is good for both me and Nora to get out; get some fresh air and get more comfortable being out in public (still cross my fingers that she does ok–and she’s done great this week).
Man, did it feel good to soak my feet, use the massage chair, talk to a friend and hold my sweet girl. Some day Miss Nora will be sitting next to me soaking her little toes too. Both our little ones sat great through the pedicure, so that means (yay!) more pedicures in our future!
I’m trying to workon this ‘take care of myself first’ thing; what my friend referred to as the ‘airplane rule’: help yourself before you help others. I can’t be at my best to take care of Nora if I don’t feel my best and aren’t taking care of myself. I’m learning to not see it as being selfish; how can I love and take care of Nora if I’m not doing the same for myself. Mothers and women in general, in my opinion, put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be perfect: to be the perfect mother, wife, friend; have the perfect body; have perfect children which is a reflection of our perfect parenting. There is NO perfect and we are setting ourselves up for failure if we expect it.
I know I have felt the pressure to do things perfectly; not just in motherhood but in many aspects of my life. I was always expected to get good grades (I wouldn’t say I was pressured to get good grades, it was just expected of me); not only from my mother but myself. I liked getting good grades and feeling smart. If I played a sport I wanted to excel at it, and if I didn’t I usually didn’t play it (ie. golf). I was always a good employee, doing my best to prove I was worth keeping around (and hopefully a raise). I try to be a good wife; cooking for my husband, keeping the house clean, keeping the romance, etc. And now as a mother I see myself trying to do things effortlessly and have ‘the perfect baby’. Striving for perfection is stressful and impossible. So why do I continue to pressure myself with it?? Who knows. I’m a work in progress. I’m learning things everyday; not only as a mother but just as myself and being happy with that.
Nora has been doing pretty well with her naps in the crib. She’s put herself to sleep more than once and doesn’t fuss too much as long as she has her pacifier (I fear that will be another battle down the road–it’s very soothing for her). I think we are slowly getting ready for her to try bedtime in her crib. Since birth she has been in a sleeper next to our bed; makes me feel safer knowing she’s next to me but I don’t want this to be something that can’t be undone. In the middle of the night after a feeding, I typically lay her right back down without rocking her to sleep and she does great so I’m hoping this transition to the crib won’t be too hard (maybe more so for me than her). The only issue I foresee is her pacifier falling out and her waking up to want it back. It will be a work in progress as with everything else; updates to follow.
Who wouldn’t want to sleep next to this sweet face!?
I can’t believe it’s been three months already since this little sunshine has brightened our life. Honestly though, I don’t want time to slow down (for now) or speed up, I am loving every minute of it. Every day is a new adventure and seems like something new and exciting happens. I’m eager for all the new things we both will learn.
Nora sits in her Bumbo seat so well and is starting to like to look at toys and grasp for them. She is very curious about her surroundings and is always looking around. Her head is getting steadier every day. She likes to take quick catnaps (30-45 minutes) rather than longer naps, why miss out on all the fun!?
Ok, so it’s not my daughter that’s keeping me up (she sleeps great at night!), its MY BRAIN!
Me: I’m so tired, can’t wait to get to sleep.
My Brain: Ok, you’re ready to sleep. Well let’s think of what we did today that we can do different tomorrow. Should I write this in a blog post? I like blogging. I am so happy Nora took some naps in her crib today. *Check on Nora* I can’t forget to pay the credit card tomorrow. Ok, stop thinking, go to sleep. Oh geez, I forgot to text (enter your name here) back. I need to order (this that and the other thing) from Amazon-don’t forget. I need a pedicure, maybe on Monday. Maybe if I rub lavender on my feet I will fall asleep, oh forget it just go to sleep. *Get a drink of water* Oh my God, I have been tossing and turning for an hour now. I need to start thinking of Christmas gifts. I can’t wait until Nora is older and knows what Christmas is. We need a vacation. I hope we can take Nora to the Royal Sands in Cancun, I can’t wait for her to see the ocean. Ok, seriously, now go to sleep.
Some nights I just can’t shut my brain down. Maybe its because my thoughts are consumed by Nora during the day, so at night I can actually think of other things. I knew sleep deprivation would be a part of motherhood but I didn’t think I would be the one keeping myself from it!!
♫♫ Write write, all day long, write write while I sing this song ♫♫ Any Adam Sandler (the younger days) fans out there!?!?! Bueller? …. Bueller? OK ok, enough with the movie references.
Since I started blogging, I find that I am constantly ‘writing’ things in my head; not only thinking about things I want to write about, but piecing together my post in my head. ‘Oh, this is good’ I think, then when it comes to sitting at my computer ‘What was that I wanted to write about again?!’ Mostly I blame my horrible memory, but I often think of multiple things to write about and I’m raising an infant, so I cut myself some slack.
Do all bloggers/writers do this? #bloggerproblems. I feel like my life has become a novel that I am constantly narrating and Nora has become the main character.
To be continued…
Today begins my day of starting a schedule for Miss Nora (keep me in your thoughts). I’m nursing and napping (trying to) at specific times to get into a routine. Not only are routines good for babies but it will help keep me sane and hopefully get me out of the house more!! I am starting to get a little stir-crazy. Going places has made me nervous because I am not sure how Nora will do, it gives me anxiety to think that she may just start crying in the middle of a store. I know I wouldn’t be the first mom in history for that to happen to, but if I can avoid it, I will.
I am also trying (maybe that should be my post name TRY TRY TRY) to get Nora to sleep in her crib. Yesterday she took a nap for about 30 minutes in her crib, with me rocking her to sleep first then placing her in there. I’d like to start with one a nap a day, then graduate to all naps then the dreaded bedtime (maybe more scary for me than her). For now I feel safer with her next to me at night, and for the most part she does sleep fairly well–but I stir at almost every sound she makes and continually give her back her pacifier to soothe her. I’m giving myself a week of this schedule and attempted crib times before I change anything. I am one to get frustrated if something doesn’t work the first time, and I have to remember that things are different in motherhood and take time to be successful.
I’m trying to do what’s best for Nora. We tried another nap (this time with her awake) in her crib today but she just cried and fussed and I can’t stand leaving her like that. So I, once again, put her in the carrier and out she went, for over an hour. Short naps make for cranky baby come bedtime so I try and get them any way I can (for now).
I tell myself, she’s only 3 months old; she feels safe, warm and comfortable with me; I’m doing my best. But then I overthink: Am I starting bad habits; will she only ever nap if I’m not holding her, will she ever sleep in her crib?? It’s hard to know what’s right and what works until you ‘trial and error’ it. I do know I am working on doing what I think is right for my child, and I guess that’s all I can really ask of myself.